Trembling Sweetness
by the.silly.banana.muffin
Summary: He still has nightmares that he should have forgotten. Luckily, she'll always be there to make sure that he's never haunted by them again. Rated T for one little swear and a some graphic content. Takes place a year or two after Dirge of Cerberus.
1. Warm Blood and Deep Scars

Hello again. :) To be honest, I wasn't really sure as to where I was going to go with this one...I thought of it after listening to Natalie Merchant's "My Skin" (the title of this story is part of one of the bridges in the song). I finally decided that there's going to be one more chapter after this--the epilogue, if you will. I don't think that this is the best I could have done on this piece, but I still enjoyed writing it. *NOTE* Cloud and Tifa _are_ together in this (obviously), but I wasn't sure as to what I wanted their relationship to be, exactly (dating, married)...so choose what you want. Please don't hesistate to review--constructive critisism is greatly appreciated. ^_^ Enjoy.

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She slowly reached over, unsure as to what she should do.

He was having a nightmare—or so that's what it appeared to be. Sweat rolled from his face, and he squeezed his eyes shut, trying desperately to shut the bad images out. He shifted uncomfortably for a moment; a barely-audible groan escaped his lips as he did so. His breathing was heavier than normal, and, as she carefully took his wrist, she could feel his pulse pounding against the tips of her fingers.

What was he dreaming of? A long silver sword, dripping with an Ancient's blood? A mako-filled testing chamber? A gleaming scalpel?

Tifa paid close attention to Cloud when he had dreams. They were usually bad—she had never seen him have a pleasant one. He always looked disturbed, and his body tensed; like he was trying to keep something from reaching or touching him. It broke her heart; he was still tormented with memories that should have left him long ago.

_All because of that damn mako._

If Cloud had never left for SOLDIER that summer…he would have never been taken to Hojo with Zack. He would have never had to endure the endless torment, with the needles and horrible torture devices that were dug into his skin on a daily basis. His blood wouldn't have been tainted with lethal doses of mako—the very substance that nearly killed him after Zack had been gunned down. And now he was paying for it; his mind filled with too-vivid memories that flashed through his head, over, and over, and over…

Tifa's fingers gently extended past the blonde's burning forehead and brushed his golden bangs. She absently pushed them away from his eyes and slowly stroked his warm skin; her lips humming a calming tune in an effort to ease the horrific pictures that were zooming before his eyes.

She sat there for a long while, but Cloud's discomfort remained. This wasn't working. Maybe she should just wake him up. That would be better than sitting there for another half-hour, watching him suffer through more nightmares. Although, that _might _startle him enough to give him a heart attack. Perhaps she should just go back to sleep—and hope that he didn't throw her out of bed on accident.

He stopped breathing.

Tifa slowly leaned over Cloud's side of the bed until her eyes were level with his face. "…Cloud?"

The blonde's sapphire eyes flickered open. A wild look lingered in them a moment longer before it soon faded into something that had been considered normal. His muscles tensed as he became increasingly aware of the cold sweat rolling from body, and he shuddered softly and swallowed in an effort to relieve his dry throat.

The young barmaid crawled over his legs and sat on the opposite side of the bed facing him. Her voice was quiet, as if she wasn't supposed to ask it. "…Was it another nightmare?"

Cloud hesitantly nodded. He wished that she didn't have to see him like this. He took a deep breath in an effort to slow his racing heart.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Although this approach was one that she used with Marlene and Denzel, she knew that it could potentially get Cloud to vent a little to ease the horrid memories.

He sat up. His eyes didn't directly meet hers, but they eventually came up until they were even with wine-colored orbs. "…You know what it's about," His voice fell soft, as if he were suddenly frightened. "It's always the same."

It was then that Tifa realized that he was trembling—his hand shook in hers as their fingers locked. Her eyes shifted from their hands to his pale face; where the sweat continued to drip. She slowly reached out with her opposite hand and gently brushed it away, only to laugh when his face grew hot with a blush. No matter how many times she did that, she still got the same reaction from him. She gave him a kind smile; the one that lit up a room filled with darkness if need be. It was hard to see him like he was, but she knew she had to stay strong for him if he wanted to keep himself together. They sat there for several minutes, the both of them silent as they turned over various thoughts in their heads.

"…It's Hojo."

Tifa looked up.

Cloud was looking at his lap, where his other hand rested on his knee.

"…What's he doing to you?"

"The things that he did to me when I was with Zack," Cloud's quiet voice cracked slightly. His hand shook more-steadily as the fear and rage began to build. His glowing, mako-infused, electric-blue eyes glanced up for a moment through the dark at the barmaid. "He's testing out new things on me."

Tifa's eyes narrowed. Hojo was such an unforgiving bastard—hearing Cloud, one of the most secluded and self-kept people she knew, talk about the madman like he did was not surprising to her. Even Cloud couldn't keep his mouth shut about him.

"…There was this…this thing. It looked like a kind of saw, but it was built to operate on people," Cloud's gaze fell upon something in the distance from the window as he vaguely remembered the tool used for torture. "He didn't care if we were awake when he used it on us. He'd break our bones and stuff like that to see if the mako and the Jenova cells would heal it or not."

The picture of Cloud laying on a steel table, screaming and writhing in pain as a surgical saw shredded his skin and splattered blood everywhere sent chills down Tifa's spine and made her hair stand on end. She looked at their hands. She could see the scars on his hands. She couldn't tell for sure what caused them, or how old they were—but they appeared deep. One ran straight across his wrist…as if a saw had sliced it. She ran her fingers over it; cringing slightly when her fingers sunk lower into it than she thought they would. She could feel Cloud's pull as he involuntarily flinched away from her fingers running over the sensitive area. She quickly looked back up. "…I'm sorry…"

Cloud said nothing. His head was turned slightly away from her, and his eyes were now resting upon her side of the bed. They glistened slightly.

"Cloud…"

"It wasn't fair," Cloud's voice cracked again, but he didn't try as much to hide it. His hand crunched into a fist. "Why…"

Tifa slid closer to him until she was inches away from his face.

Cloud looked her directly in the eyes. "…Why me?"

Tifa looked down for a moment. She slowly wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head against his shoulder; her own eyes beginning to sting with hot tears. "If Zack hadn't rescued you…you'd be dead."

"…I know."

"And if he hadn't died…I might have never found you…"

Cloud was silent. _If it weren't for me, Zack would still be alive._

"…I love you."

The blonde gently lowered his head down onto Tifa's shoulder. She was now the one shaking, her body trembling gently under his arms.

_Things happen for a reason._

Finally, a faint smile tugged at the corners of his lips. He held her close, enjoying the pleasant warmth her body radiated. The words rolled off of his tongue in an instant, without the slightest bit of conscious thought or hesitation.

"I...love you,too."


	2. Epilogue

Helllloooo. :) 'Tis me again. Not much to say about this chapter...(besides it's the last one). I'm not really sure how I feel about this one, because I don't feel as if I did as well as I probably could have. BUT...I guess I'll keep it the way it is. Feel free to read and review--me likey reviews. ^_^ Enjoy.

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Tifa winced as her aching joints cracked painfully after a long day of running back and forth from the backroom and bar; busing customers and kicking out a few drunks that had overstayed their welcome. Although she usually hated going to bed without taking a shower, she felt as if she wouldn't be able to carry herself twenty steps further to do so. She sluggishly unzipped her black vest and threw it into the dirty laundry basket, where both Cloud and her's clothes were beginning to pile up. Maybe she should teach Denzel how to work the washer and dryer.

On second thought—maybe not.

When Cloud tried to wash the laundry when she wasn't home, he nearly succeeded in flooding the main floor. Knowing that Denzel was already beginning to take after the oh-so-handy blonde, she knew it was probably for the better that she stuck to washing the clothes. Besides, the kids were young—they should be able to enjoy their childhood instead of having to do chores all day.

Tifa nearly forgot how good a warm bed felt after a hard day. Cloud had been gone for a few days on a delivery trip, and it left the other side of the bed feeling sadly empty recently. He had returned earlier that day, however, and although he was tired and slightly agitated from irritable clients; it was nice to see both Marlene and Denzel showing him pictures they had drawn for him as 'welcome back' gifts.

"…Tifa?"

The barmaid's garnet eyes snapped open. _If I hadn't gotten enough sleep already. _She sat up and forced a smile onto her face. "…Denzel. Are you alright?"

The young boy nodded sleepily and ran a hand through his shaggy brown hair. Marlene poked her head around the corner of the door. "…Marlene and I are going to sleep, now."

Tifa slowly rose to her feet and walked to the door, where she wrapped her arms around the two. "Goodnight."

Marlene's smaller arms wrapped around her neck. "Goodnight, Tifa."

After a moment, Denzel pulled away. He peered further into the bedroom and looked around for a moment.

Tifa searched the area for a moment before she turned back to face the boy. "…What?"

"Is Cloud in here?"

She shook her head. "I think he's taking a shower in the bathroom. I'm sure he'll be out soon."

Marlene pushed past Denzel and sheepishly dug her feet into the ground. Although it was cute, Tifa frowned upon it; as Yuffie had shown her how to do it to get her way every time Tifa or Cloud told her 'no'. The girl smiled. "…Can we stay in here until he's done?"

Tifa sighed. She wanted to sleep…but watching Marlene put on the cute act was too much for her foggy mind to handle. She effortlessly gave in and nodded; groaning softly as the kids cheered and threw themselves onto the bed on the other side of the room. She spun on her heels and placed her hands on her hips. The kids quickly silenced when they noticed her groggy eyes and her messy, frizzed, pulled hair.

"…If I let you stay here, will you two both be quiet? I'm tired, and you know Cloud's tired; so please don't make too much noise."

They nodded. Denzel's brown eyes gazed past. "…Cloud!"

It was just then that Tifa realized that there had been somebody behind them, watching them from the doorway. She quickly turned, only to be thrown to the side as the two kids shoved past her. She laughed—Cloud's cobalt eyes grew wide as Marlene nearly tackled him to the ground, giggling and grinning. To Tifa's surprise, Denzel stood off to the side and watched. His eyes shifted over the ground, as if he were thinking about something.

After getting up, Cloud looked up at the young boy. "…Is everything alright?" He knew that he was usually the first person Denzel wanted to see and talk to.

Denzel cautiously made his way forward, his eyes still downcast. Cloud knelt down before him and lowered his head to meet his hidden eyes. Cloud's own eyes took on a concerned appearance as Denzel remained silent.

Finally, he looked up. The young boy slowly wrapped his arms around Cloud's waist and buried his face into the side of his arm. "…Goodnight, Cloud."

The blonde was completely still for a moment before he eventually brought his arms around Denzel's smaller frame. "...Goodnight."

Denzel drew back and stared at Cloud for several minutes until his face broke into a wide smile, and he ran past him into the hallway. The two adults could hear the children's door shut; and the two kids were once again laughing and playing.

Tifa laughed softly.

Cloud quickly turned back. "…What?"

"Nothing," Tifa stifled another quiet laugh and shook her head. "…That was just so cute."

The blonde blushed. He lay down on his side of the bed and turned out the small lamp on the table close by. The two were silent for a moment, but then Cloud tried to silence a soft chuckle of his own. "…Goodnight."

Tifa smiled as she gently rested her head against his chest. Maybe tonight would be the night that the horrible nightmares would disappear, and be replaced with ones that would finally be pleasant.

_Good…night._


End file.
